My Almost Lover
by PoisonAndSugar
Summary: AU. Tsuna's in a breaking relationship with Hibari, but suddenly his father wants him to go to Italy.
1. Heartbreak

**Author's note: Haha, I've been reading Doujins about 1827 lately and it inspired me~ hope you like this story! This will be in two parts, this is the first one. This was also inspired by listening to "Snow Rain" from MGLN and another song, which I don't know the title of.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn!**

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><p>Bright yellow rays of sunshine streamed through the curtains and fell upon the peacefully sleeping form of Sawada Tsunayoshi. Disturbed by the light, he blearily opened his eyes and turned to the other side of the bed, hoping to see his… lover? Sex buddy? He didn't even know anymore. Before he could sink down further into those depressing thoughts, he shook his head.<p>

-_nothing would come out of thinking about this anyway_.-

As he got out of the covers in the bed in the love hotel that he and Hibari went into last night, he looked at the clock. It was about 7 o' clock in the morning. He wondered why he woke up that early, as he usually doesn't wake up till past 8 or something. -_the bed is too cold_- unwanted thoughts once again crossed his mind, like _why why why won't he stay by my side what is this twisted relationship he had gotten to Is it better if this stopped why why - _

"Why am I the only one in love?" tumbled out of his lips and Tsuna clasped his hands over his mouth, eyes wide, trembling from his voicing out his deepest, most-hidden heartache. He closed his eyes tightly, valiantly trying to stop the tears from trailing down his cheeks. - _Hibari-san does not like weakness_. _I must not appear weak.- _If he does cry, if he does, then this one comfort of his relationship may even be cut off. Hibari would surely be disgusted with him, if he sees Tsuna cry.

Tsuna lowered his hands from his mouth and started to pick up his clothing strewn around the room, remnants of the night before, before getting his bag and going to the bathroom. He was lucky that it was Sunday. He looked at the mirror, eyes downcast. There wasn't even a mark on his body . Many students would be dismayed to see hickeys that would be displayed after they had sex with their partners, but Tsuna would be happy to receive even one. But there was none except for some bruises caused by holding to tightly . Sighing, he went about his shower and other routines done in the morning before sneaking out of the hotel. He supposed he was lucky that his mother was so easy-going and did not question his awfully suspicious excuses of why he was always gone all night every other day.

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><p>Tsuna flopped down in the bed in his room. It was only about 8 A.M, and his mother, as well as Lambo and I-pin - who were children his mother adopted- liked to sleep in during Sundays. Having nothing better to do, he went down to the kitchen and started making breakfast. As he was cooking the omelettes, he wondered what he was going to do that day. He could go out with his friends, Gokudera and Yamamoto, out to the arcade. <em>hmm, I'm going to call them later. <em>After that, Reborn - his awfully sadistic home tutor who came every other day - would arrive at about 3 PM and stay till after dinner.

Finishing breakfast, he set the table and waited in one of the chairs. Lambo would probably be woken up by the scent of food, and with the racket he was sure to make, Mama and I-pin would be woken up. Then they could all have breakfast together. Tsuna smiled, thinking of his siblings who were almost too cute but were awfully annoying at times, especially when he wanted peace and quiet. Lambo especially, was-

'AHAHAHAHAHA~! THE GREAT LAMBO-CHAN WANTS BREAKFAST!'

'ahhh lambo! Not be loud! Mama is sleeping!' -_you're also loud, I-pin_-

Crash.

_To-le-rate_.

Lambo bawls.

"I-pin -chan, Lambo-chan, let's go down okay? Tsuna-nii-san probably cooked breakfast." cue kaa-san placating Lambo. Lambo's wails die down.

'ALL THE BREAKFAST BELONGS TO LAMBO-CHAN!'

'AAH, LAMBO BAD! LEAVE SOME!'

Aah. A perfectly normal chaotic morning.

Tsuna smiles, all thoughts of Hibari driven off by the feeling of comfort and home in the atmosphere.

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><p>That night, after Reborn left and the kids were tucked in, Tsuna went down to the kitchen and listened to his mother on the phone. It was probably with his dad, who was in Italy for his work, judging from the pink hearts floating above his mother's head and the sheer happiness emanating from her smile. He wasn't very sure what his father did in Italy, but he was sure it was a good-paying job, with all the large cheques he sent home every month. Still, he would have liked it if his father came home more frequently than one week every three months.<p>

"Tsuna-kun? Your papa wants to talk with you." Kaa-san said, shaking Tsuna out of his thoughts. He reached over and took the phone, holding it up to his ear.

"Tou-san?"

"aah~ My precious Tsuna~ how are you, my adorable son~?"

"I'm doing okay. Is there something you wanted?"

"Can't Papa talk to his adorable son without wanting something? Waaa, Tsuna is too cruel."

"Tou-san…"

"Okay, okay. Ahh, Papa wants you to go to Italy to study."

"WHAT?" Tsuna exclaimed, falling out of his chair ," why?"

"It's a surprise! Don't worry, I already talked to Mama about it, and she agreed. All the details are sorted out already, if you go here."

"How long will it be if I do go?"

"It's a surprise! Well, I have to go now. You have a week to decide if you want to go~ say Bye-bye to Mama for me~" Then all Tsuna heard was the _beep-beep_ of the phone.

_Stupid old man, making decisions all at a sudden…_

"Tsu-chan? Are you going?" his mother asked gently, as they both sat down around the kitchen table.

Tsuna watched his mother with worried eyes. "But you- "

"Don't worry about Mama. This is about you. You think I don't notice, Tsu-chan, but you always seem so sad nowadays. Maybe a change will make you happy."

"Kaa-san…" Tsuna bowed his head. "I'll think about it."

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><p>Him? Go to Italy? What about his friends? What about Hiba… stop. Tsuna sighed as he once again flopped down on his bed. He turned sideways, curling around a pillow. Kaa-san was right. This was about Tsuna. What did he want to do? Gokudera had to go back to Italy after this school year. He was, after all, an exchange student. Yamamoto, on the other hand, was in a relationship with Gokudera and had confided in Tsuna that he will eventually follow Gokudera to Italy because he can't live without his 'Gokkun'.<p>

_Ahh, so lucky, to have a relationship that loving._

So unlike his relationship with his Hibari, which really wasn't much of a relationship at all. What did they do? Fuck. That's all in their relationship. Since he had confessed to Hibari about two months ago, that's all they did. Tsuna let out a bitter sob before stifling his cries. If he went to Italy, he would be leaving Hibari behind. But what they do have isn't really that much. It was everything to Tsuna, but to Hibari… it was nothing. Tsuna cannot even call his lover by his first name. Nobody even knew that they were in a relationship of some sort. For all he knew, Hibari might have a dozen other fuck-buddies on the side. Hibari -_KyoyaKyoyaKyoya- _wasn't type of person to feel such a herbivorous emotion like love.

Hibari wouldn't miss Tsuna if he went.

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><p>As he went to school the next day, Tsuna looked for Hibari, who was usually at the gates waiting for latecomers and rule breakers. He wasn't there. Maybe he was off biting delinquents somewhere in the school? Tsuna sighed.<p>

"Tsuna?" Yamamoto's voice broke him out of his thoughts. "Are you okay?"

Tsuna looked to his side and saw Gokudera and Yamamoto looking worriedly at him.

"Juudaime? Is there someone bullying you? Point him out and I'll beat him for you!" Gokudera fumed, looking around suspiciously.

"a-aah, no, I'm alright. There's no need to be worried. I was just thinking of something." Tsuna sweatdropped. Gokudera is, as always, the same.

"Aahahahaha. Well, Tsuna, if there's anything, you can talk to us about it, okay? We're your friends!" Yamamoto laughed out., ruffling Tsuna's hair.

"AHH BASEBALL FREAK! How dare you mess up Juudaime's precious hair!" Gokudera glared at Yamamoto.

"Maa, maa, Gokkun, No need to be jealous~ I'll touch you a lot later!"

"AAHH YOU PERVERTED BAKA!"

Looking at this scene, Tsuna sweat dropped once again. He glanced at the clock and promptly panicked.

"Ahh, guys! We're going to be late!"

As they were running in the halls to their homeroom, Tsuna felt that he was really fortunate to have his friends and that there were no better friends than them. He will tell them about the Italy thing after school.

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><p>Lunch came, and Tsuna excused himself from his friends, saying that he has to go look for something. Gokudera had wanted to help, but Tsuna told him that he can use the time to spend it with Yamamoto.<p>

He blushed furiously and quieted down after saying "thanks."

Tsuna walked around the school, searching for Hibari. He knew that they would only normally meet after school, but he wanted to spend time with Hibari before making his decision about Italy. This… relationship couldn't work this way anymore. Tsuna was not a brilliant student or anything, but even he knew he was in a one-sided relationship. But… if there was a slightest chance of Hibari wanting him to stay, he would. Even though the kind of relationship he could have with Hibari was only the physical one , he would gladly take it.

_I really am a stupid idiot in love…_

Tsuna smiled sadly. It would hurt being just like that with Hibari. But if Hibari showed even the slightest reluctance in letting him go… he would stay and maybe, maybe someday his feelings would be returned, even the slightest bit.

He finally found him at the school roof, leaning over the railings, probably looking for rule breakers at the school courtyard.

"Hibari-sempai? " Tsuna called out softly, tentatively from his place near the wall.

"Herbivore. I told you not to approach me during school." Hibari said, his eyes narrowing as they fell upon Tsuna.

"A-ano, I just wanted to tell you that my father wanted to go to Ita-" Tsuna started out, before Hibari's phone rang and he answered.

As the phone call ended, Hibari glared at Tsuna.

"Herbivore. You can go anywhere you want. It is no concern of mine. Do not approach me again during school." He coldly bit out and then walked past Tsuna and past the door.

Tsuna just stood there, frozen. He couldn't identify what he felt. Was it anger? Sadness? Numbness? He didn't know. He slumped down against the wall, curling up with his knees to his chest and burying his head in his arms.

_I should have expected this. I knew that this would probably happen but… I wanted to hope. _

He clenched his hands into fists, his fingernails making crescent-shaped marks in his palms. He bit down on his lips. He couldn't cry. He must not cry. He had known that this would happen. He was just a stupid, stupid little boy who fell in love and foolishly hoped that his precious person would love him back.

But that was a stupid hope. He couldn't cry, because Gokudera and Yamamoto would notice, and he still have to tell them about Italy after school.

_I'm going. I don't think I can bear seeing Hibari day after day. Gokudera is going to Italy after the school year ends anyway._ _Yamamoto will follow him anywhere, so I can still have my friends there. Mama told me that I had to do this for myself. _

_I am._

Taking a deep breath and slapping himself on both cheeks a couple of times, he finally stood up and went back to where his friends are. He would have to bear this till he got home.

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><p>When Tsuna got home, he was exhausted. He told his friends about his trip to Italy and their reactions were what he expected.<p>

(_aahh, Tsuna, why are you and Gokkun both going ahead of me? I want to go to Italy soon too! )_

_(Juudaime! I am very happy that we will be in the same country! Where in Italy are you going? I'll visit you everyday, Juudaime!)_

"Okaeri, Tsu-chan!"

"Aah, Kaa-san. Can you tell Tou-san that I will go?"

"Ara, so soon already? Did you think about it really hard?"

"Hai. I already talked about it with my friends." Tsuna smiled. "I want a change for myself."

"Mama is so happy Tsu-chan is growing up! I'll tell Papa that we'll be going to Italy after this week~"

"E-eeh?"

"Silly Tsu-chan! We're all going! We just wanted you to decide for yourself."

Tsuna's mother then walked off, humming happily as she went to the phone to call his Dad. Tsuna just sighed, and walked up to his room and locked the door. He fell down facedown to his bed. He will have both his friends and family with him in Italy. The only one that will not be is…

Tsuna's hands fisted the sheets as he finally broke down and cried.

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><p>It was the day of departure. Yamamoto and Gokudera went to their house early in the morning to see him and his family off. They couldn't go with him to the airport, after all. It was a long way off, and they still had school.<p>

"Juudaime! Wait for me in Italy~!" Gokudera cried out.

"Good Luck Tsuna! We'll miss you." Yamamoto said, clapping Tsuna at the shoulder.

"I'll miss you too. I'll be waiting for both of you." Tsuna grinned and hugged them both.

Finally, all of their belongings were loaded into the cabs, and Tsuna bid his friends goodbye. They waved at each other till Tsuna was out of sight.

Tsuna settled down in his seat. He would see his friends again, and they could keep in contact via the web. About Hibari…he felt sad, but resigned. After his break down, he had promised that he had cried all the tears he would cry for Hibari. He still loved him, true, and maybe this was running away, but he just didn't want to hurt anymore. It hurts now, sure, but staying with Hibari was self-destructive.

But… even with all of those, he can't say that he regrets anything - not the time he spent loving Hibari.

It was, it is, a bittersweet part of his young adolescent life.

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><p>It was a week after Tsuna's departure to Italy. Gokudera and Yamamoto were in class, both not listening, Gokudera was doodling something (G-code!) in his notebook, and Yamamoto was pretending to read his book while sleeping. The idle time in this classroom was disturbed when suddenly the door slid open harshly with the door frame cracking from the force used.<p>

Hibari was standing in the doorway with a very, very dark aura around him and a rage-filled, frightening look on his face.

"Where is Sawada Tsunayoshi?" He ground out, his hands spastically clenching and unclenching around his steel tonfas.

The class all looked towards Yamamoto and Gokudera, as they were close friends of Sawada.

"It isn't any of your business where Juudaime went!" Gokudera snarled, rising up from his seat.

"Maa, maa, Gokudera, calm down. He's only asking." Yamamoto placed a hand on Gokudera's shoulder, preventing him from lunging at Hibari.

"Herbivores, answer the question!" Hibari started advancing towards them, his tonfas raised and a murderous look in his face. "Where is Sawada Tsunayoshi?"

"He went to Italy." Yamamoto answered quickly, his hands raised with palms facing outwards to placate Hibari, who looked ready to kill at that moment.

They were all surprised at Hibari's reaction. He had a stricken, panicked expression on his face. His tonfas clattered noisily on the floor as Hibari's hands loosened with shock. They had never seen such an expression on the disciplinary committee's leader before.

"No..no..no." Hibari muttered under his breath. After a few moments, he seemed to regain himself and picked up his tonfas.

As Hibari walked out of the classroom and the class erupted into discussions, only Yamamoto and Gokudera noticed Hibari's face fill with anguish and that his hands were still shaking.

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><p><strong>Please Review! <strong>


	2. Teaser

**Author's note: Ahahaha~ *scratches head with hand* a-ano, I completely forgot that I had exams. I have to study~! and I type ridiculously slow, so the second chapter may not some out for some time. I'll do it... probably next week. So here is a short part that I have already written that is supposed to be the start of the 2nd chapter... ahahaha, a teaser of sorts. **

**Disclaimer: KHR does not belong to me :(**

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><p>The days after Hibari's confrontation with Tsuna's former class was terrible. A tense, jittery mood hung over and oppressed the school. Everybody was walking on fragile eggshells, fearing the disciplinary committee's leader's wrath descending upon them.<p>

The hallways were mostly silent, punctuated only by the school bells and the muted sounds of the classes being held from behind the doors. Even delinquents and the usual rule breakers were unusually vigilant about upholding the school rules.

Of course, rumor mills were still working furiously, and both girls and boys whispered to each other about -_why what happened why why- _the erratic moodswings of the feared Hibari. He was, for a lack of a better term, more vicious and ruthless than he ever was before in the punishments of the poor hapless students he caught breaking minor or major infractions.

The whole school felt that they were in the presence of a vicious tyrant ruling over the school with an iron fist. Not that they hadn't thought of it like that before but… this time, it was much, much worse.

Kusakabe, Hibari's second-in-command, was the one who cautioned the students if the chairman was in one of his dark, terrifying moods. He did not particularly want everybody in the school to be beaten up, after all. Hibari seemed to have only three moods nowadays.

One was where he was unrestrained and cruel, lashing out with his tonfas at anything and anybody in his path and terrifying the students out of their wits, One where Hibari strove to act more like his normal self but failed because everybody who looked at him could sense the underlying currents of violence writhing beneath his skin and his cold, cold eyes. The last one was the least terrifying, as Hibari basically holed himself up in the reception room, pacing around and muttering to himself furiously under his breath, and at times just staring blankly off to space, his eyes confused and a little lost.

Kusakabe wondered if Hibari was going mad, and what the whole situation had to do with one Sawada Tsunayoshi, who had left Namimori for Italy. One did not need to be a genius to connect Hibari's terrifying moods to Sawada's leaving, after all. The timing was just too convenient.

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><p><strong>Read and Review~! <strong>


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